Book Review: How Not to Write a Novel

How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them–A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide

The cover of the book (British version) caught my eye. Then the title. Then the tagline: “200 mistakes to avoid at all costs if you ever want to get published.”

I was curious about how many lessons could be transferred between novels and scientific writing, so I ponied up the £10 to buy it.

What an enjoyable read, even if you never want to write a novel. I laughed out loud at least several times, something that the people sitting near me on the train must have wondered about.

Highlights of the book that resonated with me:

Using a word almost correctly, or using a word almost exactly like the the right word, amounts to almost speaking English…saying “incredulous” when you mean “incredible” is the prose equivalent of walking into a meeting wearing your underwear on the outside. (p. 104)

Writers find that they can get the most out of words and phrases when they are arranged in sentences. And, as sentences are exponentially more complex than words, your opportunities to go wrong now increase at a breathtaking rate. (p. 113)

Published authors use the word “said” almost exclusively when they wish to indicate that a particular character is saying something. “Said” is a convention so firmly established that readers for the most part do not even see it. This helps to make the dialogue realistic by keeping its substructure invisible.

Many unpublished authors, however, become uncomfortable with the repetition of the word “said” and try to improve the technology of dialogue by substituting any verb that has ever been associated with speech or language. (p. 132)

Adverbs don’t kill dialogue; careless writers kill dialogue. (p. 136)

You have to correct all the typos….Many beginning writers say, “But publishers have copy editors for that! Who cares about those superficial details if the story is really good?” To which we say: we all want to be loved for our true selves, our inner essence, but that doesn’t mean we don’t take a shower and look in the mirror before we go out on a date. (pp. 250-251)

How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them–A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide